Wednesday, November 25, 2009

2 Things I Hate Right Now

As per the title of this entry:

1) Shape-ups.
If you honestly believe a pair of shoes alone is going to help you lose weight, there's a bridge in Brooklyn I could sell you. Sure, I will accept the fact that maybe they help people with back problems. Or maybe they tone your muscles a tiny bit because they have you walking on an elevation. Maybe they even do help you lose a negligible amount of weight. But the point is that you're WALKING. Not that you're walking in Shape-ups. If you wear the shape-ups and walk to the fridge for a soda, they're not going to do anything for you.

Just f*&%ing exercise. Diet pills, weight loss miracles - it all REALLY makes me angry. Simple diet modifications and exercise are the healthiest and most effective ways to lose weight. Not some $100 pair of shoes. DUH.

2) Celebrities who say they eat like pigs, yet are a size negative 3.
God. I read about this all the time. Annalynn McCord (who the hell is she anyway?) loves burgers. Shakira loves food. Kim Kardashian probably loves stuffing her face with lard. Yet... they still all have no body fat. Why? Probably because after they splurge on that burger or that lard, they spend 3 hours in a gym with a $1,000/session personal trainer. But no one ever says that, now do they? Stars who claim they eat whatever they want and don't work out and still look like a pencil are lying. LYING.

Also, stars who say they were dorks in high school are lying. Except maybe the guy who plays Screech. Or Justin Long. I could believe he was a dweeb-monger.

Ok. Glad I got that off my chest. Now I'm going to go eat 10 burgers and then walk 15 steps in my shape-ups. That should do the trick. Slimmer, toned thighs - here I come!!!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Grammar Gripe of the Week

From Yahoo (r) answers. Just pitiful. First off, it's a dumb question, which sounds like it was written by a teenage kid working on a D.A.R.E. (to keep kids off drugs!) project. Have you got a phrase? No, dillwad. I don't own any phrases. I may KNOW a few phrases. Also, "in courage" is something they would put on a soldier's badge. I think you were going for "encourage." It's called vocabulary. Learn it.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Oh Goody! A typo in the WSJ!

Going from the NYTimes to the WSJ is like going from day to night. The two are completely different - and I like to get the contrast when I'm reading the news. And while I'm reading the news in either publication, I LOVE finding typos (but you already knew that). So here's a little gem I found in an article today:

But this downtown has brought heavy layoffs to the financial and auto industries, two places where generous exit packages remain more common.

New York City has brought heavy layoffs? Or maybe the author was talking about DC. Or MAYBE... the author meant DOWNTURN?

The article, should you choose to read it after this typo, was also indicative of one of the main differences between the WSJ and the NYTimes. This article is about people who are burning through severance pay and can't manage their finances, including a CEO who tossed away around $300 and still hasn't gotten a new job, though he has had a few offers, which he turned down. They expect me to feel sorry for this guy? No way.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Oh Goody! A typo in the NYTimes!

It probably reflects very poorly on me that I get my kicks from seeing typos in venerable newspapers such as the New York Times. But whatever. I can't help that warm and tingly feeling that creeps up on me when I realize the editors who fill the country's most coveted editorial positions aren't perfect.

So let's celebrate this article, which contains this typo:
Ms. Block went to the company’s Web site and filed an application online, which many others had not. By doing do, her application went directly into the company’s system.

Sounds like something that transpires when my boyfriend is in the bathroom, right?

It's gonna be a good weekend. I can just tell.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The French Taxi Cab

Well tonight was interesting, in a things-come-full-circle kind of way. The day was dreary, rainy and cold - apparently now it's cool to just go from Summer straight to Winter and skip Fall completely. After work, some coworkers and I headed to a bar to watch the Phillies game. I left there around 5:40 to meet some college girlfriends for dinner, and I could not for the life of me get a cab. The ones with lights on didn't stop. The ones without lights on didn't stop. And there were long lulls where nary a taxi was even in sight. On BROAD STREET. A MAIN ARTERY of the city.

I was perplexed. So I walked, hoping to find a taxi as I strode, but my search was in vain. I ended up at 8th and Pine, about 8 blocks away from my final destination, and decided a cab wasn't even worth it at that point. So I made it to dinner flustered, but okay. We sat around at the restaurant for a while talking, and then headed back to my friends' apartment to watch La Vie en Rose, the move about French singer Edith Piaf. It was great. Piaf has an intriguing life and a great voice, and of course all songs sound so much more flowy and dramatic in French than they do in English.

I didn't stay for the whole thing, as I didn't want to have a late night. So another girl who was there offered to drive me home and we left. But as we were driving away, we noticed the car was clunking along making a sound like we were driving on ground up road. So we pulled over at 2nd and Washington, in South Philly, and sure enough my friend had a flat tire. Drat.

I sat with her for a while as she called Triple AAA, and wondered what a nice Jewish girl was doing at the intersection of 2nd and Washington, next to Snockey's crab shack, waiting for Triple AAA to come and rescue my friend's Honda Civic Hybrid. My friend told me I could go, in fact, she insisted I go. So we called a cab and it came within 5 minutes.

And the whole drive back to my apartment, the cab driver sang. In French.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Grammar Gripe of the Week

A large part of my job is writing career advice, so I pay attention to all the career advice that's out there. (And there is A LOT of it online. Seriously. When I started my job search I can't believe I didn't just google "resume tips". It would have been extremely smart of me.)

Sometimes, the advice is good. Sometimes it downright sucks. And occasionally I find people who can't write for their lives. I would never take career advice from the person who wrote this, as part of an article about resume mistakes:

1. Ambiguous Job Objective: A career objective is the most important part of the resume. A lot depends upon your career objective. It tells the employer regarding your goals and what exactly you want to be. The mistake what people commit is that they write lengthy sentences. No one really has the time to read such long statements. So, keep it as short as possible. Your objective should be simple and easy to understand.

Not only is it painful to read, it's riddled with mistakes. "It tells the employer regarding your goals and what exactly you want to be"? "The mistake what people commit"? Really? PLEASE read your writing before you post it.

This isn't grammar related but the advice also sucks. Resume objectives are redundant. The employer already knows you want a job with them - you wouldn't be applying otherwise. Don't waste resume space saying that. Instead, write a professional statement summing up your strengths and background in 2 or 3 lines. SHEESH.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Grammar Gripe of the Week

From a website I came across:

She started her own Intern company, with the goal of raising internship awareness and connecting student’s with their future in 2006.

Can you spot the mistake? I sure hope you can. Apostrophe mistakes are some of my BIGGEST pet peeves! Not only that, but the sentence is clunky, "future" should be plural for consistency, and I think "in 2006" is a misplaced modifier. If their futures were in 2006, I wonder what they're doing now? Gah.