Thursday, November 27, 2008

An Uncertain Thanks

Thanksgiving has never really meant much to me besides a large group of family and sometimes friends getting together to engorge ourselves on foods that, any other night, would seem extravagant. Of course that's not something I have a problem with. And I do usually take some time to think about what I'm thankful for - my amazing family, my wonderful boyfriend, being alive and healthy, living in a great apartment in a lively city - and of course being able to watch the Philly Thanksgiving parade featuring such scintillating acts as Syesha Mercado, Mario and the Von Trapp Children (who I will be singing with at the Philly Pops Holiday Concert). 

But today I'm thinking about lots of other things going on that I'm not thankful for. One is that Zoey isn't in the house to share the day with us. And another is that I still haven't the slightest idea what to do with my life. 

I was reading an article in the Inquirer this morning that profiled people who had dedicated their lives to helping the homeless. One was the woman who founded Back On My Feet, a running group for homeless people, and another was a guy who basically started by walking up to homeless people and asking them what they needed. Now he provides meals and checks addressed to state departments so people can get identification like licenses and birth certificates. Those forms of ID help them get jobs and enter shelters. 

It's great to see these people taking something they're passionate about and turning it into life's work. They're doing so much good for the world, and they should feel really proud. I sometimes feel like I need to do something monumental like them. I feel like I have to start my own company, invent a new product, or write a fantastic blog about something totally unique that millions of people will read on a daily basis. 

But then I question whether I really need to do something so huge? Can't I just do something quiet that I love? Sure... the only problem is I don't know what I love doing yet. Well, ok that's not entirely true because I love doing lots of things - singing, writing, reading, playing with my neice and nephew, hanging out with friends - but how is that supposed to translate into an income that I can live with? And what if there's something else that I would really love that I haven't even discovered yet? 

I think my problem is that I have all these grand ideas of unique adventures and profound experiences and finding what I'm truly passionate about, but I don't know  how to go about discovering these things. And sometimes I don't think I need to. Sometimes I think just living is enough. But living doesn't pay the rent. 

I want to resolve something right now, that I'll start looking for what I'm passionate about and working toward making a career of it, but I know I probably won't. The best I can do is give thanks that there is so much out there to discover, and give thanks that I have hope I might discover it... someday. 

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

People Love Cute Sh*t

It's true. This weekend I was at home along with my older brother, who is planning on getting a dog for his family. He was showing us pictures of puggles online, and, as puggles are cuter than a pudgy baby with cake all over his cheeks, you can bet there were endless squeals coming from the women in the house. Even Will couldn't help but say "aww" a few times. 

Then last night as Will and I were walking home from work (in the dark... thanks Winter) we saw a woman walking an itty bitty puggle. I thought my heart would burst. Will asserted that if we ever got a dog, I'd probably dump him because there wouldn't be enough love to go around. I had to agree. 

And today, I got into work and did my daily "delay for about an hour by reading online news publications" routine, and what should I stumble on but an article in USAToday that talks about online time-wasters, and highlights the 24-hour puppycam which I just recently discovered. 

It's affirmed, folks. People love looking at cute sh*t. Well, at least women do. Round-the-clock puppies, daily bunnies, tiny monkeys wrapped around people's fingers - there's no shortage of aww-inducing material out there to appease even the most sensitive lady's cute tooth. USAToday thinks the sorry state of the economy adds to our affinity for adorable and innocent images, but I'll posit that we'd look at this cute sh*t even if we all had salaries over 100K. Hell, we'd probably buy the cute sh*t for ourselves... not just look at it. 

I'm not prepared to understand this phenomenon. What does cute even mean, anyway? It's an abstract idea, and I'm sure different people use it to define different things. I mean some people think hairless cats are cute. But if I had to venture a guess I'd say women have this caring and motherly instinct, and when they see small or innocent looking creatures, they just want to coddle them. Or blast their ear drums with a high-decibel exclamation of pure joy. 

Of course with my luck, when I clicked on the puppycam this morning, it was "offline". The injustice. How else am I supposed to get through my day besides watching adorable fluffy balls running all over each other and occasionally sleeping? 

Instead, I had to Google image search pictures of puggles. Enjoy. 


















Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The First Snow-ell

I'm taking a break from the Excel-induced coma work has put me into to tell everyone that it just SNOWED for the first time this winter... at least enough to be seen by multiple people and elicit a few cries of, "Yay! It's so pretty!" It's over now, but for one, glorious moment, thousands of tiny white flakes swirled around outside our 18th floor office windows. 

After the humid mess it was last week, this sudden blast of cold and flurries really makes it feel like holiday time. And lord knows I LOVE holiday time. The commercials start in with tinkly music, stores fill up with cozy sweaters, and of course 97.5 plays 24/7 Christmas music, which I admit I've been listening to for the past 2 weeks. (Mariah Carey's All I Want for Xmas? Brilliant.) I can't wait until everyone is together for Thanksgiving and Christmas in a warm, bright house, surrounded by a happy, giving atmosphere. It gives me chills just thinking about it! 

NOTE: I'm Jewish. But Hanukah feels different than Christmas. It's a little more solemn, a little more educational (or maybe that's just because I have to keep explaining it to people), a little more sparse and spread out, and it involves less family. I'm proud to be a Jew, to eat latkes and celebrate 8 nights of illumination. But let's face it, Christmas generates more excitement. 





Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Is She Really Gone?

Sadly, yes. Zoey is gone as of 1PM today. It was a day she would have loved - sunny, a fall chill in the air, ideal for playing frisbee or bundling up and going to the park. But instead she laid in her bed and occasionally got up and wobbled outside. She was so unsteady, disoriented, almost like she was drunk. And her face was all swollen because her failed kidneys made her retain water. 

My stepmom and I sat around for hours waiting for something to happen. I'd look at her every once in a while and hope that miraculously she'd be better... that she'd look like herself and start wagging her tail and get up and run to me. But she mainly just slept. Still it was nice to have her there and alive. Her body was warm, her fur was soft, there was still comfort in her presence. But we also knew something had to be done, that she couldn't live everyday like this. 

So at 1PM the vet came with his needles and his sedation and he put her to sleep. I didn't watch, but my dad said she looked peaceful and didn't at all react, which meant she probably didn't feel anything. Someone who loved her was there with her every step of the way, and we know she felt very loved. 

Now I'm not sure how to feel. At the time we were all sobbing. But it's over. There's no more question about her health, she's just... done. Her absence in the house was very palpable and sad. We went out for lunch and when we got back we really expected to hear her bounding down the stairs to greet us, as if she was waiting on my parents' bed until we got home. But there was nothing. And right now I feel kind of numb. I'm all cried out, not over it but not steeped in it. 

It'll be a hard few days, but we have to believe it was the right thing to do and she's in a better place now. 

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Fuzzy Ears of My Zoey

Today was a sad day in the Scharf house. Our 11-year-old yellow lab Zoey isn't doing very well. Her kidneys are failing, and they're trying to find out why and treat her, but if they can't find anything wrong and the treatment doesn't work, then there's really nothing we can do about it. She won't eat, she's in pain, and she's having trouble getting around, so my parents were weighing the option of putting her down if she doesn't get better very soon. 

I know it's best, but it's hard to say goodbye to someone who's been such an integral part of your family for so long. We got Zoey when I was 11, and she was the greatest dog we could have asked for. She was kind and docile, never barked or growled at anyone, showed lots of affection, loved our family and everyone she encountered, and she also had more intelligence than most of the dogs I've interacted with. 

And as crazy as it sounds, she was like my sister. She's currently in a 24-hour veterinary hospital, and Will and I went to say goodbye to her before we left Yardley and went back to Philly. I gave her a whole speech, as if she was a human. I told her I was sorry she had to be there, but we just wanted to give her the best chance of staying with us as long as possible. And of course I told her over and over that I love her. I felt a little insane, like 'why am I telling such deep things to a dog', but I think all pet owners have some sense that their pet understands complicated feelings like that, and I hope she understood and knew that I meant it all. 

There's still a chance we'll get good news, but I have a hard time expecting that. In the meantime, I hope she's not in pain and I trust that my parents will make the right decision. 

And... sorry if that was totally corny but I felt like I had to write something about the hairiest (but greatly loved) member of our family. 



Tuesday, November 4, 2008

World Champs WHERE? Philly!

Since we had to watch a few World Series games in DC, where there were Rays fans abounding, it was GREAT to get home and be able to watch them in Philly. We were planning to go out Sunday night and watch game 4 in a bar, but when we got back to our apartment and saw this news story plastered all over the place, that idea was scrapped. 

It's a pretty scary situation to hear that people who live less than a block away from you were attacked by a man with a butcher knife. And it's not even like it was a helpless woman by herself, it was a couple. So even if I'm with Will, I can't feel entirely safe. We haven't heard much about it this week but they still haven't caught the guy, so it still makes me uneasy. Maybe with all his publicity last weekend he's decided to go away. Let's hope so. In any city I suppose these dangers exist, but you never think it'll happen so close to your apartment, to people so similar to you (they were a 25-year old couple living together). 

After hearing about that, Will and I went around the apartment and picked out blunt objects we could use to hit someone over the head with, if need be. We also thought about buying a taser gun. Haven't yet, but I sure feel safer now that I have mace. 

And on to a much better piece of news: THE PHILS WON THE WORLD SERIES! It was absolute mayhem here Wednesday night. Bars were packed, people were wasted, Broad Street was hopping, guys were climbing on light poles, women were flashing people... it was just absolutely crazy. But in a good way. It was a huge, glowing ball of energy and happiness. Then Friday was the victory parade and that, too, was insane. Trains stopped running, people couldn't walk on the sidewalks... it seemed like the whole world was in Philadelphia on Friday afternoon. But again everyone was celebrating and being nice to each other and it was just wonderful. Here are some pics that I got, enjoy. I know Philly will be enjoying for the next year!
Broad Street Wednesday night
Broad Street Wednesday nightBlanton - the pitcher who hit a homerun!
Utley and Howard, the dynamic duo
The trophy!!!



Washington, Washington

Last weekend Will and I took a much-needed vacation to DC. Although I resent DC because I feel that Philadelphia was the nation's FIRST capital and doesn't receive as much credit, I still enjoyed myself. It's a fun city, with lots to see and do and, of course, a lot to learn about the U.S. of A. We covered all the touristy stuff, like: 


The capitol Building - Which I kept confusing with the White House. 










The White House, where we saw security guys training an attack dog. 














The National Archives, where tourists elbow their way in to see old paper.











The Lincoln Memorial, which, despite what this picture may lead you to believe, was swamped. 
















And Arlington National Cemetery, where I wasn't allowed to take inappropriate pictures. 





But Will's favorite part was the Air and Space Museum. Now up until a few days before our trip, I thought it was actually called the Aaron Space Museum. Yes. I thought it was named after a
 guy named Aaron. But it is really a museum about AIR AND SPACE. I have to admit it was pretty cool, although unlike Will, I didn't get a massive boner when we went inside. My favorite part was seeing the recreation of Skylab, because it reminded me of Wet Hot American Summer. 















I think MY favorite part of the trip was the Newseum. It's all about the history of Journalism, and it has some great exhibits on 9/11, Pulitzer Prize-winning photos, and presidential election commercials, to name a few. I think it was worth the $20 we paid to get in, but perhaps for that amount of money they could leave the cafeteria open at all hours. 

There you go. Our trip to DC in a nutshell.