Thursday, April 30, 2009

Spamerific!

I get some really awesome spam emails at work. Most of them are in Chinese or some weird computer language with funky symbols, but the ones in English are extremely amusing. Today, one asked me this:

"Tired of sunbathing in clothes because you are too fat?"

I felt that was a little harsh, and it really did a number on my self-esteem. I mean they could have just told me I could lose weight easily with a miracle-inducing Acai berry mixture. They didn't have to go ahead and draw attention to my uber-obesity*, which often causes me to lounge around in 90 degree weather with full fabric coverage from head to toe. Seriously, spam. You're breaking my heart.


*Ok. I'm not really uber-obese. But if I were, you could bet that email would drive me to chow down on krumpets and inhale a 2-liter bottle of coke.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Hemingway's Island Paradise

A little over a week ago I went to Key West for a week-long vacation, and I figure I should write about it just in case you're debating whether or not to go to Key West (don't deny it, you totally are). 

First off, let me just say that it's hot. And sometimes uncomfortably hot. But there are nice beaches and it's near the equator, so if you want to lie in the sand and soak up the sun while waves tumble gently in the background, it's ideal. And there's a lot more to do there besides tanning - the island has a literary (Hemingway, Frost), military (lots of forts to see), and presidential history that's represented through several museums, plus there are lots of day trips to take that will satisfy the wildlife/watersporting enthusiast, and tons of bars and restaurants for the foodies/drunkies. And everything is walkable since the island is small, so you won't need transportation. 

The island's mishmash of activities is also something that made it a little strange, since it seemed there was no coherent message that Key West was broadcasting. Often at night, we'd be walking down the main drag (Duval Street, Key West's idea of Bourbon Street) and we'd pass drag queens, nudie bars, raging drunks, and families with small children - all in one block. That was a bit startling, but I guess it's better to have something for everyone than a niche no one will appreciate. 

So that's my oh-so-short review of Key West. I would like to add, though, that the sunsets are unbeatable: 

and you really can't deny the attraction of views like this:

So if you're in the mood for some Jimmy Buffet-worthy margaritas and a day at the beach, head on down to Key West. 

In local news, last night the Phils beat the Nationals in a game that included not one, but TWO grand slams. And I was there for one of them!
 

Thursday, April 2, 2009

No, you are not excused

Today I received an email from a colleague with this "disclaimer" at the bottom:

Please excuse any typos as this was sent from my blackberry

Apparently the standard (and sickeningly promotional) "Sent from my BlackBerry Hurricane-or-whatever-its-called" is not enough anymore. Now we must make excuses for our inability to take correspondence seriously, and our impatience that leads us to send emails from our phones rather that waiting until we are at a computer and in a good position to communicate.

Of course, I know smart phones aren't all bad. We live in a fast paced world. Sometimes you really need to close that deal before noon, and your phone is the only communication device you've got on hand. Smart phones help businesses run smoothly and keep us in touch with people we otherwise wouldn't be able to get a hold of, and I'm all for that.

What makes me angry is that I'm being asked to excuse your behavior, when you really have no right to demand that of me. If the disclaimer had said, "Sent from my thingamajigger; may contain typos," I'd be okay with that. You're simply warning me. But to take it one step further and ask me to to go ahead and overlook the fact that I'm not important enough for you to spell-check or use proper punctuation, well that's going too far.

What's next? "Please excuse my use of annoying abbreviations?" Or "Please excuse the fact that I can't take enough time to actually type out a complete sentence?" Maybe just a blank email with "Please excuse this email, as something in my bag hit the send button accidentally and I don't actually have anything to say to you."

Oh to live back in the day when people wrote long, emotion-filled letters to each other. Now that's correspondence.