Washington Square is for the birds

On Saturday I had myself a few hours alone while Will was up at school running (jogging) in the alumni race. I decided my first mission was to go to the park and read. So at about 4 I packed up a blanket, a Cosmo, and the most recent City Paper and trudged off to Washington Square. It's really close to our apartment so we go there often, just to sit or watch little kids try and climb into the fountain. 

So there I was, reading about the latest summer fashions and what guys like most about blow jobs, when I notice a sudden influx of pigeons. They're wobbling around my blanket, making that throaty rumble, and they're flying low over my head. 

My first thought was, "Cool! They're filming a remake of that Alfred Hitchcock movie right here in Philly!" But looking around some more didn't reveal any camera crews or boom mics. So my next thought was "I'm gonna get shat on. Where are all these birds coming from?"

Then I saw this guy... 

Yes - a little old Chinese man (shouldn't he be in Franklin Square?) was feeding the birds right near my blanket - hence the fluttery commotion. 

I respect his regard for the animals. Who's to say pigeons aren't worthy of our attention just because they're filthy rats with wings? But seriously, dude. Other people are trying to enjoy the park without getting bird crap in their hair. 

Moral of the story: Sow your seeds in another park. And men really like blow jobs.